No T.V. For A Week.

I just unplugged the thing and am going to try out this week without the television.

What am I going to do without it?

Well, my plan is to immerse myself in God's Word a little more than I have been. I might actually get some school work done, too. With my free time I can start working out like I wanted to do about a month ago. I think this might be a great thing for me...

My best friend (might as well call him family) is coming with me to church this evening to check out our service. I'm not exactly sure what his motives are behind it (if it's just an "I-asked-he-said-yes" deal or something more) but I am hoping for something great. I have no clue as to what he will think about it (although he has been to my church before with other people) or if he would like to come back - but I'm hoping. We had been talking recently about his interest in the things going on in my life - and I am sure that Jesus can do the exact same with his...so maybe tonight he can hear something to spark some interest - or maybe a seed will be planted for a future time. All I know is that it didn't take much for me to "come around" - and the more I involve myself with it - the greater it becomes.

All prayers for my friend (who is not the only one I have that I would consider "lost") and the others I know who I would hope to find Christ are welcome - as well as prayers for God's continuing faithfulness and blessings in my life (and with the people around me). Thanks in advance.

My Head Go Asplode.

Rather than taking a rest from the diluge of information coming in and the thoughts running rampant, I decided to spend another few hours online after my post shoving more stuff in my brain.

And it just hit me - stop relying on other people. Where do these people get their facts (or, to be more precise, where do they quote from when citing their credibility)? The bible, of course. And where do those fundamental beliefs they hold so dearly come from? God's Word.

I just wanted to take this quick moment to thank the Holy Spirit for once again sparking wisdom where it would otherwise lay dormant in my own regards. In such a simple way I have quickly been refocused to the source, God (His Word, specifically) and the destination I have been trying to reach, somehow.

*(Make sure to read the post below this, because it was a little longer and also lends itself well to what this one mentions).

Why?

This seems to be a continuing saga in my walk with Christ. I go to a class, or talk to some people, or actually stop procrastinating and do a little searching and I have this very deep, real, and understandable nugget of belief enter my life. You know, I actually get something and it feels right and I am raised up again feeling like I can do this - there is nothing to worry about, no "what ifs?" or all that. And then, for some reason, I hear another point of view and then everything becomes so horribly complicated that I am struggling to keep up.

I quote this as an example of what I am talking about (from http://www.boarsheadtavern.com/):

"It's what we've added to Jesus Christ that drives people away. When it becomes not enough that we believe in Jesus Christ crucified, and that God raised Him from the dead, but that we must also believe in X, Y, and Z, who can possibly keep up?"

Amen to that! I have been stuffed full of so much information in the past 5 months (most of the time on a voluntary basis, really) that I just keep going back and forth, up and down. Why can't being a Christian be as simple as I have heard many people preach before - be completely reliant upon God's grace? 100% God, not us. Why do we have to tack on these fancy decorations to the greatest thing that has ever happened to us? God loved us first - He is the source. God came and rescued us. We are so inextricably wrapped up with the details that we often lose focus of what we should be doing with our time - praising God for how absolutely awesome He is.

Getting to know God more is not a negative thing. Being concerned with this-and-that when it relates to God's glory is not a waste of time. But it does create a VERY big problem when it becomes a stumbling block - and it seems to be happening to me lately. All of this stuff IS being thrown out there - and it is genuinely frustrating.

I'll end this post with another quote (http://internetmonk.com/underground/index.php?p=22):

"And then I read the Gospels and I am undone. He confounds all my intelligences. He withstands my doubt, my intellectual scrutiny, my emotional inquiry. This amazing man confronts me and turns my beliefs on their ear. Constantly. As a Christian now, I am in constant destruction; it seems like every day he makes my faith anew."

It seems more and more that I need to get away from myself, from my intelligence, from my doubt, from my everything. It's forgetting what I have memorized, losing what I've gained, being completely swept up in the fact that I will never know - that I will never do it perfect - but that God can and will if I just let Him.

Take a look at the Boar's Head Tavern site linked with the first quote - there are some really good posts talking about losing the simplicity of it all...that His grace is enough.

Thank You.

I have been learning more and more how important the Holy Spirit is in my life - in regards to my simply knowing God to learning more about Him. I often times forget about Him when I pray and send out my praises - but I want to start here by just saying Thank You!

Tonight was a very good Encounter class. I had heard some of the theological perspectives on Christians being called "saints" or "sinners" - but it was taken a bit further and I liked some of the examples that were given in relation to ideas I held but needed further building on (particularly God's faithful, infinite acceptance in Christ and the metamorphosis that takes place when Christ enters your life - and when you place faith in Him and accept Him as Lord and Savior). I am still struggling with my faith a bit - mainly the big things like surrender and trust (not beliefs). We talked tonight about how the only sin that prevents one from entering Heaven is the sin of disbelief - which I am still a bit worried about, but I think that I am okay because I do believe...I am just learning to accept that belief as a reformation (rebirth) of my life and to put my total trust in God. But, whether an excuse or not, I have only been following (or really have KNOWN) about Christ for 5 or so months...I'm still a baby.

I'm so excited right now about Christ. I know that I sometimes neglect to immerse myself in God's Word - or to do the things that I would really like to do (which is different than the theology - I learned tonight - of being required to do so). I just want to sit here and BE WITH CHRIST. Just absorb every bit of Him (and then, of course, send that back out for everyone else to enjoy :)).

Those shirts (or stickers, or something) that say "Jesus Rocks!" aren't lying.

One Week?

So much has happened to me in the past seven days that I cannot believe it has only been so few that have passed. I have had so many thoughts about God, and Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. I have learned a whole lot as well. Plus, things have continued to move in the arena of my normal day-to-day life. Absolutely craziness!

Anyway, I have resolved to be a bit better about getting homework done. I neglected it a bit yesterday with previous plans and improvisation - and thus far today things have gotten in the way again, but I think I am going to stay home tonight rather than go to this forum and try to complete a few homework assignments that will actually put me ahead (thank You, Lord for this opportunity).

As far as updating the blog - I haven't forgotten. I see the little button on my quick-link bar every time I start up my browser...it's just other things have taken its place. I still want to share a lot with the world (however small that readership might be in this particular arena).

I also started going through my movies and pulling them to my HDD so I can edit/backup/burn DVDs of all my precious memories - so that is yet another thing in the way. Time will tell...

I Went To A Strip Club Tonight...

and I am here to tell everyone that Jesus is SO much better.

Better than the naked girls inches away from me. Better than the image of a girl I am attracted to projected onto one of those naked women. Better than the cigarette I faked smoking. Better than the crude jokes that were said. Honestly, even better than the small amount of time I got to hang out with an old friend.

On my way home I put my WOW Christian CD into the player and went through a few familiar and favorite songs of mine - and in those few minutes singing praises to my Lord - I felt better, happier, and more fulfilled than had I stayed at that place all night.

It breaks my heart that more people do not know Jesus. It makes me sad how many people do not follow the way of Love - the MOST EXCELLENT WAY. I will readily admit I have struggles sometimes - to leave behind the selfish life, to believe certain things, to give up certain things...but the reward is beyond imagination.

I was thinking tonight about a problem I had with Jesus' sacrifice - laying down one's life for a friend. I have often thought, "What makes His sacrifice any different than other people who have died for their friends? Their country? Their belief?" Tonight I found my answer. Jesus did not only die for His friends. He didn't suffer the cross just for Jerusalem, Isreal, or any other specific country. He wasn't humbled to the point of death to make a religious (or any other point). He died for people who might never even recognize Him. He laid down His life for those who can choose to ignore Him, or even blaspheme Him. Even to this day He has not seen His glory deserved (YES, DESERVED). Jesus died for the world. He defeated death for life - for love. I cannot think of another person I can say those same things about. Honorable sacrifices? Yes. "Jesus caliber"? Not even close.

Thank you so much Jesus. While I pray that more people will turn to Your love - to the Father's love - I long now for the day when You will split the sky and make Your kingdom known. Praise be to God for His love - because everyday I start to see a little more that it is truly better than life.

Happy Valentine's Day?

Well - it hasn't been too extremely happy...because I am still single. But, it's not like I am totally alone, just relationship wise. I have my family, my friends, and most importantly, I've got Jesus.

I went to my grandmother's today and gave her a Valentine's Day card. We hung out for a bit and then I returned home. Quite an eventful day.

Things have been going quite well in my spiritual journey, however. I have been attending my usual Sunday services, as well as my class on Wednesday. On Friday we had a new thing, called T2 (based around the book Titus in the Bible). It is a time when college students can get together in groups of the same sex to build life groups (basically accountability groups that are more personal in nature). I really like the idea - because community is something I have really been longing for since I became a Christian.

One of the "leaders" (an older person serving each group) prayed for me about finding the community I needed and God pretty much answered it immediately - I hung out with some really cool people that very evening at dinner - and was part of a bible study group the next day (which I will be attending every Saturday). I also found out there is a thing going on Wednesday nights at 8 - so I might check that out sometime.

Other than my hopes to get in shape in the coming months (which is absolutely possible if I ever get off my butt) I plan on giving God more time in my life. I want to start going through the Bible each day - because I know how important it can be in our relationship...but I have just been ingrained with this procrastination lifestyle and it is a bit difficult to be less selfish about my time.

We'll see...

Break My Heart...

Lord, for the things that break Yours.

I am taking a course at my church that revolves around the book "The Ragamuffin Gospel" by Brennan Manning. Last week we had a speaker in that was talking about the homeless and the impact we could have in their lives and how much assistance they really need. This week, a lady came in and was talking to us about Haiti (where the normal main speaker for the class was actually returning from a mission trip). I didn't expect much from the class at all (when I first walked in I was a bit taken back by the fact we hadn't really discussed the book much in the class).

However, now that I take a look back at the previous weeks - and at this most recent experience I had in the class - I realize that it never really was about the book. What I have learned and taken personally from reading through it is a wonderful thing - but the message that has been spoken to me through the personal revelation in the class is what is of greatest importance. I walked out tonight realizing that God speaks to us sometimes when we least expect to hear His voice.

I was so moved this evening when we watched a tape showing a bit about mission trips to Haiti - it was actually stirring witnessing people being baptized in the water, and the great effect that had on their lives. On the film was also an example about how strong and important prayer is in changing the life of someone who is under satan's control - and how God is absolutely powerful enough to win another soul.

Then, the lady speaking shared a story with the same conclusion - a person who once followed the road of satan worship (where there it revolves mostly around fear) and voodoo who was turned by the miraculous experience of witnessing God's power.

I was thinking seriously last night about mission trips - and I feel in my heart that I will take one some day...I just don't believe I am ready right now. I plan on going to Phoenix this summer for 3 months to work at a Christian Youth Camp - and I would like to ramp up my involvement in giving to my community. I also had a friend who has expressed interest in learning more about the changes going on in my life - which I am certain is a door that God is opening for me to show him the glory of Christ. We'll just have to see - but I'm hoping my spiritual journey will continue to grow as it looks it will...because I think I am gaining more readiness to become a better Christian - and more importantly, a greater tool for God's will.

Well...

I've got a real nice cavity eating my tooth right now. I went in for a cleaning a while back and they found it - and suggested a filling - but I haven't gone back yet. It has started hurting here in the last hour or so way more than it has for the past few weeks...I think I may have angered it. Either way, I think it may be part of the reason I have been having headaches recently. I've got a couple smaller ones, too - so it looks like I will be going back to the dentist soon. I hate having stuff like this happen/done - hopefully it won't cost too much (since I am not back on my dental insurance plan yet).

As far as spiritual cavities - I don't know...probably about the same as any day. I have decided that I want to take my bible with me pretty much wherever I go - just in case I either get a free moment and actually decide to read it - or in case I need it for some other reason. My want to read the New Testament (or start, really) has been rather failing as well. It's not that I have too much stuff going on in my life right now - it's just that I spend an abnormal amount of time procrastinating and putting OFF that stuff.

Which is probably why my tooth aches right now...

Quick Post.

Just wanted to cut the free space in between posts. I am working on something new (or will be starting soon) but I wanted to put something down here until then. This was taken from a lecture I was audience to at the Passion Conferences. It's from John Piper (see sidebar "Desiring God" for link) and IS NOT my material at all - so if you like it, give him credit (and then he'll send it to God, surely). Anyway - these are some steps that were mentioned in the fight for joy:

1. Fight for joy - but realize it is a gift from God.
2. Realize that joy must be fought for relentlessly (it does not come and stay forever without work).
3. Attack all known sin in life (remember that sin is not just the "big 7" that gets popularized, but anything that goes against God's will).
4. Learn the secret of being a "justified sinner" (Micah 7:7).
5. Realize the battle is primarily to see God (Satan's power is in hiding the magnificence of God with his temptations).
6. Meditate on the word of God, day and night.
7. Pray earnestly and continually for joy (to open the heart and eyes).
8. Preach to yourself rather than listen to yourself.
9. Spend time with God-centered people - for help "fighting the fight" (we are community creatures - alone does not work).
10. Be patient in the night of God's seeming absence (He IS always with you, even when it might not seem like it). Wait patiently.
11. Get the rest, excercise, and proper diet that the body is designed for (physical wellness is a direct supporter to spiritual health).
12. Make proper use of God's revelation in nature (the goal being to see Him and be awed by Him, not the creation).
13. Do the hard thing, the LOVING thing, for other people.
14. Get a global vision.

I have spoke personally on #14 with my tsunami post - and have hit on a couple others with various religious-themed posts. My post to come will be a reflection on love (based around my most recent church group). I also plan to write a very large "summation" on all the papers I have. Keep in touch if that seems interesting - although be patient as well...school is taking up a lot of my time (and if nothing more, keeping me from some things). I am going to be working on getting my priorities right, so we'll see what happens.

Format Change.

It is quite possible that this was a natural progression, but I was thinking about it tonight while in my study class at church and it seemed like a reasonable idea to me. From now on, I am going to make this blog one that chronicles my personal struggles and triumphs - primarily those that relate to my spirituality, but also the ones that are just "life-based" (which will be the "filler" in between my religious posts).

I know that most of my readers are purely 30-second surfers, but if I do have anyone out there that is a regular reader - they have already noticed the importance of my faith in my life. I don't necessarily want to bring unwarranted attention to myself - although I would like to express my views and have them either accepted, or discussed. Since the title of this blog is "Soapbox" I'll be basing my posts around what I know best, myself, and utilizing my space on the Internet to bring that to light. Hopefully, though, I can magnify (or reflect) God's glory through my words - maybe even work His will through me.

Who knows - maybe someone will surf along and see something that helped me that could help them...here's hoping.

God is Faithful.

Pray today for: Wisdom (to see God, and His Awesomeness).

It is extraordinary how He always comes through - even in situations that might not be "that important." I posted a comment in return to a friend of mine's condolences on my little situation below. On my way home today, it just came to me that I really shouldn't be so caught up in being "alone" right now - because the only thing I really don't have is a girlfriend. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that although I would very much like to be in a relationship, I really only fret about it when I let it run my life. And letting emotion and small circumstances run one's life is no way to go.

Either way - right now I am hoping to see the results from this I think might happen - my coming closer to Jesus. I haven't been spending as much time with Him as I should - and I haven't really been focusing on my spiritual growth either. Maybe I could have done just fine with the added "distraction" of a girlfriend, but God knows me best - and I am starting to understand a lot of things related to this current "predicament" I find myself in.

I wanna give Jesus a big hug.