Why?

This seems to be a continuing saga in my walk with Christ. I go to a class, or talk to some people, or actually stop procrastinating and do a little searching and I have this very deep, real, and understandable nugget of belief enter my life. You know, I actually get something and it feels right and I am raised up again feeling like I can do this - there is nothing to worry about, no "what ifs?" or all that. And then, for some reason, I hear another point of view and then everything becomes so horribly complicated that I am struggling to keep up.

I quote this as an example of what I am talking about (from http://www.boarsheadtavern.com/):

"It's what we've added to Jesus Christ that drives people away. When it becomes not enough that we believe in Jesus Christ crucified, and that God raised Him from the dead, but that we must also believe in X, Y, and Z, who can possibly keep up?"

Amen to that! I have been stuffed full of so much information in the past 5 months (most of the time on a voluntary basis, really) that I just keep going back and forth, up and down. Why can't being a Christian be as simple as I have heard many people preach before - be completely reliant upon God's grace? 100% God, not us. Why do we have to tack on these fancy decorations to the greatest thing that has ever happened to us? God loved us first - He is the source. God came and rescued us. We are so inextricably wrapped up with the details that we often lose focus of what we should be doing with our time - praising God for how absolutely awesome He is.

Getting to know God more is not a negative thing. Being concerned with this-and-that when it relates to God's glory is not a waste of time. But it does create a VERY big problem when it becomes a stumbling block - and it seems to be happening to me lately. All of this stuff IS being thrown out there - and it is genuinely frustrating.

I'll end this post with another quote (http://internetmonk.com/underground/index.php?p=22):

"And then I read the Gospels and I am undone. He confounds all my intelligences. He withstands my doubt, my intellectual scrutiny, my emotional inquiry. This amazing man confronts me and turns my beliefs on their ear. Constantly. As a Christian now, I am in constant destruction; it seems like every day he makes my faith anew."

It seems more and more that I need to get away from myself, from my intelligence, from my doubt, from my everything. It's forgetting what I have memorized, losing what I've gained, being completely swept up in the fact that I will never know - that I will never do it perfect - but that God can and will if I just let Him.

Take a look at the Boar's Head Tavern site linked with the first quote - there are some really good posts talking about losing the simplicity of it all...that His grace is enough.