The Embargo Is Over.

It only took about a year and change, but the prohibition of my musical interests has come to an end.

Most, if not all credit, goes to Frank Sinatra.

See - I really like Ol' Blue Eyes...there's just something about him. And, the more I think about my taste in music right now, the more I see myself in a bar with a cigarette and glass of scotch in my hand, listening to some piano jazz, big band, or some other thing.

Perhaps I'm becoming a bit more sophisticated in my old age. Perhaps I realized that I used to love and enjoy all music styles.

Most likely a bit of both.

I'm not going to go out and start buying every little thing - but I am going to go out and try to "experiment" with some things I really think might float my boat - right now I'm leaning towards easy listening...I want something I can turn the lights low and just relax to...and that seems to fit the bill. Right now I'm enjoying the sounds of J.J. Johnson.

So, I'm sorry if I offended all you people out there by not listening to music anymore when I become a Christian. I still believe that music can influence you, and sometimes in a negative way. I also still believe that there are certain things that I cannot listen to and still glorify God...so I am not going to listen to that stuff.

But, I'm going into this with a heart beating for God, realizing that He has gifted all these men and women with immense talent to share art and soul with the world - and I'm grabbing hold of it.

Feel free to come along - everyone's welcome.

We Are Blind.

I love music. It has such an amazing capacity - through people I have never met - to speak to the deepest longings and thoughts of my soul. There have been so many songs, so many times, that I could have written myself with effort (and talent). For instance, I've recently been admiring "Make Believe Jesus" by Shane and Shane - the most spectacular of lyrics which go:

"Mountains groan, and seas roar, because all they know, is you for who you are, bright morning star, Jesus make believe, like they believe..."

When did we lose sight of this?

I've seen mountains before. And I've been to the ocean and witnessed how magnificent that can be. To listen to this song, with those images burnt into my mind - and then realize that their very purpose is to magnify, glorify, and present but a glimmer of the radiance which is Jesus Christ - it almost leaves me speechless.

I can understand that there are going to be people in this world who just do not see what is being talked about above. Before I became a Christian, I used to be roughly the same place they are. I believed in "God" but I didn't really know anything about him. I had heard this and that, but I wasn't really sure what I thought, or knew much about what I professed.

That's not to say that those who do not believe are necessarily these horrible cretins who deserve to be beneath my feet because they don't like or feel the same way about a song as I do. I mean something entirely different about the experiences I have been having lately.

One of the most amazing things that has happened to me, personally, over the past year has been the ability to look at the world and see wonder. I, like probably anyone, can appreciate beauty in numerous forms. But, lately, my eyes have begun to "adapt" (so to speak) to see beauty and majesty in so many things I might never have thought of before.

I take comfort where I am now - as a man and as a Christian. I've a long walk before me, but I am at the point in my life where I am ready to start traveling. It sounds so generic - I know - but it's true. It gives me hope, faith, joy, and so many other blessings.

Some are never going to believe - and it's not my duty to spout on like a broken record trying to wear them down until they do - because then no one wins. It just amazes me what's at stake. It also amazes me how much it seems like everyone is missing out.

Black Friday Warrior!

The following story is quite a frightening one. It is not advised that the sick or faint-hearted proceed...

The Tale of the Black Friday Warrior!

It all began on a normal Thanksgiving evening. A mysterious figure sat at a computer chair, eyes fixed upon the monitor, engaged in a riveting Yahoo Messenger chat:

mysterious_figure: I'm a bit worried about this Black Friday stuff. I went out last year and it was horrifying beyond belief. Lines that seemed without end, empty merchandise containers, PURE pandemonium.

other_im_guy: I wouldn't worry about it as long as you get there early. But, as trends would have it you might not get what you're going for.

mysterious_figure: I'll probably have to bundle up because of the cold...maybe I can pack on a lot of weight, mess my hair up, and make them think I am some deranged monster. Then they'll give me whatever I want!

The plan was afoot! This mysterious figure, now packed beneath a long-sleeve t-shirt, regular t-shirt, Quicksilver hoodie, and blue zip-up jacket had become nearly twice his size. Would the faux muscle suffice to win over the crowds and deliver home a shiny prize? Only time would tell for the Black Friday Warrior!

Into the cold went the Black Friday Warrior. His vehicle started with a sluggish roar, the C.D. player accepted the dose of Metal music it needed to wake the driver up - it was time to depart!

Stopping briefly to check the time and temperature - it was found to be not only very early, but also very cold. Already time and nature were conspiring against our hero.


What seemed like only minutes later, the Black Friday Warrior arrived at his destination.

For some reason (most probably being an inter-dimensional dampening field) no pictures were able to be taken within Wal-Mart...but rest assured that the pandemonium was yet again PURE. People had been waiting in line for hours to get their hands upon our hero's bounty. In fact, the entire operation was so mis-matched that the Black Friday Warrior was not even sure where to stand to prepare to be handed his prize. Frustrated, tired, and aware that this would be a failed mission - the Warrior walked into an alternate aisle in the electronics department and bought himself a new headset (for use with futuristic online chat sessions, with voice capability!)

Having exerted great strength to brave the cold, the early, and the crowds - the Black Friday Warrior decided it was time for a meal. Traveling to a local establishment he waited for a bit before realizing that they were not yet welcoming patrons. However, they were accepting refueling trucks.


Moving on to another restaurant, it was found out to be a truck conspiracy! Two mysterious vehicles in one night...was something mysterious going on?


Too bad our hero was still tired and ready to head home - or else another, new adventure could have awaited our Black Friday Warrior.

Until next time!

Super Quick Update.

Crystal-Faith is chill.

On the real.

Seay, Shanes, Crowder.

The show tonight was amazing. I was ignorant and didn't put my earbuds in (I normally always do) so now my ears are ringing a bit and my left ear feels all weird. It didn't really get loud until DC*B got on stage and everyone started yelling and they turned the mix up. Eh.

Robbie Seay Band - whom I hadn't heard of until tonight - opened the show. They turned out to be really good. They have a nice sound, acoustic with a bit of rock and electric thrown in. I didn't know any of the songs they sang, but enjoyed their entire set - which was nice, because I wasn't really expecting anything out of them.

Shane & Shane came up next and rocked my world. I had seen them at Passion '05 - and didn't know who they were so I wasn't too into them. Then, on the Passion '05 CD/DVD I ordered they sang an amazing version of "It Is Well" so I knew they had some credibility. Well, again, I did not know any of the songs they sang (except for the cover of "How Great Is Our God") but I ended up dropping $30 bucks after the show to pick up their two most recent CDs. I'm kind of kicking myself right now because I told myself and God that I was going to stop buying stuff all the time, but I also really enjoy the CD so I am torn.

David Crowder*Band - what needs to be said? I paid $20 for the show for this band simply because I could not wait until January to see them lead worship at Passion '06. When they stepped on stage the crowd went nuts. I've been to tons of shows, and this was one of the most amazing reactions to an entrance I've probably ever seen. They played a lot of stuff of the new C.D. which made me very happy...and...

they played "You Are My Joy" - my absolute favorite song of the new album. I was ecstatic when I heard them start it up. I ended up dancing and screaming and singing and worshipping my heart out all night. I broke out in a sweat and had to stop getting "Undignified" because I was tired.

A lot of people from my church were there, so it was cool to see some of them. I just wish some of my other friends - from small group and a couple others who thought they might come - were able to make it out, because it was an absolutely amazing night.

I have been so extremely blessed by God since last Friday...that is amazing.

Thanks, Lord.

Growing Pains.

I seem to be working a lot of spiritual things out right now, both consciously and sub-consciously.

On the obvious front is both my seeming lack of joy in God right now teamed with an aversion to the constant "throwing out" of what I consider cliché Christian phrases (all of which have involved the name Jesus). To be more specific, I am resenting what I called, to a close friend, cookie-cutter Christianity. A lot of the things I have been hearing lately have seemed so stereotypical and repetitive, with a pinch of insincerity.

Not to bash the people saying them, though. In fact, most every line I talk about above has come from the mouth of someone I love immensely. And, I hate to doubt their sincerity (even if I do) because I know their hearts well enough, I think, to deduce they are not saying it for either shock value or word's sake.

But it still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth and throws my mind for a loop.

On the sub-conscious, not-too-obvious front, things seem to be a little blurry. For instance, I feel something inside of me that convicts me that I am growing more mature spiritually. It's a heightened sense that makes its call unmistakable, but still allows for the plausibility of doubt. I try telling it I am happy facing diverse trials, knowing the by-products of such conflict equal much required (and coveted, for lack of a better word) rewards. I long for faith, perseverance, wisdom, maturity, courage, etc. Maybe God is answering my recent cries to be poured into.

Because, I am of the mind that when God actually does pour into you, it's an experience for sure.

I haven't been without joy. This past week I have been extremely happy. Much filled with joy. Serving in the church. Loving others. Selfless. But in all things still sinning.

An analogy my friend gave me this evening:

"If you take a glass of water and place a droplet of ink into it, the ink eventually permeates the entire glass of water. It is still water - but it's not the same water it used to be before the ink. Even the best part of the water still has some ink in it. You cannot escape the effects of the ink; you can only hope to be more water."

I am not the same person I was a little over a year ago. This is apparent. But, I am also not the man that I would like to be. And through various means I am coming to terms with the issue that this dichotomy presents.

To use the same verse I closed a recent e-mail with:

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." {Romans 15:13}

Here's to hope.