Shahabalah!: Black Friday Warrior!

The following story is quite a frightening one. It is not advised that the sick or faint-hearted proceed...

The Tale of the Black Friday Warrior!

It all began on a normal Thanksgiving evening. A mysterious figure sat at a computer chair, eyes fixed upon the monitor, engaged in a riveting Yahoo Messenger chat:

mysterious_figure: I'm a bit worried about this Black Friday stuff. I went out last year and it was horrifying beyond belief. Lines that seemed without end, empty merchandise containers, PURE pandemonium.

other_im_guy: I wouldn't worry about it as long as you get there early. But, as trends would have it you might not get what you're going for.

mysterious_figure: I'll probably have to bundle up because of the cold...maybe I can pack on a lot of weight, mess my hair up, and make them think I am some deranged monster. Then they'll give me whatever I want!

The plan was afoot! This mysterious figure, now packed beneath a long-sleeve t-shirt, regular t-shirt, Quicksilver hoodie, and blue zip-up jacket had become nearly twice his size. Would the faux muscle suffice to win over the crowds and deliver home a shiny prize? Only time would tell for the Black Friday Warrior!

Into the cold went the Black Friday Warrior. His vehicle started with a sluggish roar, the C.D. player accepted the dose of Metal music it needed to wake the driver up - it was time to depart!

Stopping briefly to check the time and temperature - it was found to be not only very early, but also very cold. Already time and nature were conspiring against our hero.

What seemed like only minutes later, the Black Friday Warrior arrived at his destination.

For some reason (most probably being an inter-dimensional dampening field) no pictures were able to be taken within Wal-Mart...but rest assured that the pandemonium was yet again PURE. People had been waiting in line for hours to get their hands upon our hero's bounty. In fact, the entire operation was so mis-matched that the Black Friday Warrior was not even sure where to stand to prepare to be handed his prize. Frustrated, tired, and aware that this would be a failed mission - the Warrior walked into an alternate aisle in the electronics department and bought himself a new headset (for use with futuristic online chat sessions, with voice capability!)

Having exerted great strength to brave the cold, the early, and the crowds - the Black Friday Warrior decided it was time for a meal. Traveling to a local establishment he waited for a bit before realizing that they were not yet welcoming patrons. However, they were accepting refueling trucks.