Patience And Thankfulness.

(Joshua Harris - thanks for the inspiration...and clarity)

Those who know me well know that I want to get married (eventually). I think marriage is a good thing. I believe it is Biblical. I also imagine myself being an alright husband because I feel God has given me admirable qualities and is working in my life to conform me to the image of his Son (who is the greatest husband of all).

Since I am 23, I think it is alright that I am not married yet. However, it has been a struggle in my personal life to both appreciate the fact that God obviously wants me single (since I am) while understanding, appreciating, and controlling my healthy attraction to the opposite sex and desire for relationship.

// I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. //

I don't believe Paul is dogging marriage here. If so, I would argue he's bad-mouthing a reflection of Jesus' relationship to us. Rather, I think he is pointing out the blessing of singleness - if that is the place one finds himself when on the journey towards Jesus.

A man, in relationship with a woman, is concerned about her well-being (mentally, physically, spiritually, etc). Rightfully so. This attention, however, often diverts the man's focus from God. Not necessarily in a negative way - because he can still love God and others by loving his wife faithfully; but there is a relinquishing of freedom: time, money, courage, solitude, etc. Again, not necessarily negative "losses" - but definite differences in perspective of singleness.

And so Paul tells men (and women) to seek the Lord in whatever situation they find themselves in - and to cherish that place until moved elsewhere.

// I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife...This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away. //

And here Paul asks each person to evaluate where they are in life. Are the times profitable for taking on a spouse? Would it be dangerous? Would it cause unnecessary distress or distraction?

A person should not pursue any type of romantic relationship without the end (marriage) in mind. Commitment. Sacrifice. Service. Selflessness. Love.

Are you financially stable (fiscally-independent)? Are you taking care of your body? Are you growing (bearing fruit) in Christ? Are you taking responsibility for your life? Can you love?

Unless your answer to all of these is a definitive "Yes" - you probably need to be single. Not that the Lord will perfect you in all of these areas before blessing you with a spouse - but he's probably not going to give you charge over his son or daughter if you can't even take care of yourself.

So what is the point?

To trust God.

To be present each day of our life - thankful for breath and patient for the Lord's provision. The promise comes to those who seek him.

And so I am going to personally strive for this patience and thankfulness.

If there is a woman out there who finds herself wanting to marry me (hey, I'm not counting out the possibility), I ask you to search your heart to see what kind of person you are. Then, petition God to see what he has planned for you. Finally, I ask you to be patient while he brings us together (if that's his plan).

I'm getting started on my end of the deal.